And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
