my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
