I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
