im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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