I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
