My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
