They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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