He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I would ride that face into the sunset
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
