You made me cry and you don't even care
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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