did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
