Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
