I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
