dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
