You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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