Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
