Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Vodka?
Forever.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
