The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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