I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Who died my cat blue again?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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