My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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