Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he fucked my hip out of place.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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