when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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