Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
