Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
