What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you didnt know i had herpes?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize