it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
