if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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