your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
