Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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