She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize