As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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