D3 body, D1 cock
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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