i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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