hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
