Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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