As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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