So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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