Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
