Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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