he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
