I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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