I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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