your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
