and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
