I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
