i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
