Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
