i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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