Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
