if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
