i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
