Betty ford says i'm here all night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
