Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize