i don't like sucking hair
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
