Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
