It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
