North Korea, Best Korea!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
