Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
