My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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