Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
