so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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